Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sneezing.

I sneeze a lot. I have seasonal hayfever like the nerds they make fun of in movies. Excuuuse me that my genetics aren't savvy with foreign particles in my face. Usually I sneeze five times in a row. That is the standard for my nose at least, but during hayfever season it gets a little more unpredictable. Since I do have this problem I have used the past few minutes to do a little research about this subject. I'm not in school right now so I think I'm just craving a little bit a research...crazy I know. But I love school. I'm going to be a teacher remember? Well, here are some things I would like you to know...
  • sneezing does not really kill brain cells, that is a myth. Or my brain would be scraping the bottom of the well right now to collect whatever cells I had left.
  • fact: a sneeze is expelled from your face at 95 miles an hour. And that is why you don't suppress it or the pressure might scramble your brains into mush. Ok actually that's a myth. about the mush. really it turns your brains into oatmeal. literally.
  • fact: people said "God bless you" when people sneezed cause they thought they were loosing their soul, or during the plague the person needed blessings cause they were ill. and it's just a polite thing to do nowadays. I get lots of blessings from people when I sneeze in fives.
  • you can't sneeze while you are sleeping. but you might wake up to sneeze. then cozy on back to sleep without realizing it.
  • sneezing doesn't stop your heart, if you think it does you are the prey of a common myth. It might change the rythm of your heart beat or blood flow however. crazy.
  • fact: you can't sneeze with your eyes open.
  • fact: I must be desperate for something cool to write about if I have lowered my self to list facts and myths of sneezing. brother.
Welp, there you have it. You are now a pro about sneezing. And anyone who reads this will probably notice the next time someone around you sneezes. Isn't that a funny word? sneeze. sneeze sneeze sneeze. Sneeeeeze. just like the word percolator. percolator percolator percolator.