Sorry Sorta...

After reading my cousin's blog for this morning (who is an excellent writer), I have realized that my writing skills have been terrible. I understand that my thoughts have been quite lazily slapped onto this blog in a way quite unbecoming of a future educator. I'm going to be teaching children how to read and write and I can't even use the right form of "they're/their/there"? I usually quickly throw thoughts on here as they come, not paying much attention to my writing skills. I think I need to start paying attention to things like that. Where better to practice, right? (Besides school of course). From here on out I will pay attention and write with a little more dignity. It still needs to feel like my voice, but I'll take more care not to write like one of those people that make you sick to read because it's so awful. It's not my strength-good writing and grammar-but I would like to get better at it, so I'm going to try.

Hoorah for the english language and using it correctly!

No More Pets

I have made an executive decision-I am never having pets when I grow up and have a family. Sorry future children, no way. Right now I'm living at my parents house for the Christmas break, and George my dog, and boots my cat are here as well. They both shed like freaks. This is pretty much what george does...



and Boots is a lot like this...


Ah man I'm so sick of pet hair. Gross. You look at George and you're covered in like 1.7 seconds. It's like stinkin magic. No more pets for me. Yea, they're cute, and they give you that face that stops you from strangling them after they have barfed on something or meowed all night long. I'm being harsh. I know I love them. They're funny and cute, I know that. That's part of the problem-I always get attached. And then they run away or they die and I get so sad. Therefore, I decided I'm not going to let my kids have hairy monstrosities for pets, or any pets that we'll get attached to and bawl when they die. That narrows it down to....goldfish. I think I'll let my kids have a goldfish. They don't get their bodily fluids all over anything, and if they die you can flush them. And I wouldn't even be sad since I hate fish. It might lead to an early discussion about death when they wonder where the fishy went....but I am willing to take that risk. I've wiped too much cat hair off my bed and yelled for george to stop barking too many times. In fact as I'm typing this I'm sittin in the front room and the cat is staring at me while George is in the kitchen sleeping and snoring like a monster. Ah I'm such a scrooge. I'm a cranky old no-pet-patience scrooge. Maybe I'll change my mind tomorrow. For now? Bah Humbug.

p.s. now watch one of them will get hurt or something and I'll bawl my eyes out and feel so bad for being so brutal. It's just my luck, poor pets. Their cursed now because of my bad attitude. We'll save the apologies for tomorrow though, cause I'm just gonna be cranky pants about it tonight, and that is that.

Christmas brings some good memories.

I was just on my couch before I went to bed last night thinking about past Christmases, and some memories. And then that brought other memories. Just funny family times.
You need to hear about these people. This is my family.


In this picture I'm trying to put my hand on kyle's knee and he won't let me. George and Sabrinna are staring at the same thing over on the left. I think it must have been a cat. My dad was getting something from his pocket. And the grass was wet so I believe we all had wet bums after it, but it's worth it. What a great pic.

Well two Christmases ago this happened:


Jay swore by Columbia brand coats. So him and kyle both put on their coats and sat outside, so see how long they could last the cold. They just sat there, and withstood the cold.

Well to keep themselves entertained they had the rubiks cube of course. That was the rubiks cube Christmas. Jay and kyle got it down to about a minute and a half. Let's see, there have also been Christmases of Ping Pong, Smash Brothers, Monopoly, Parcheesy. We go through phases. We wouldn't play once or twice, but over and over and over again. That's where the Wentz tournaments come in. We'll play a game like five times or more to determine a winner of the designated tournament, not just of a game. That's like the Budweiser Pioneer Day Open, or the Pepsi New Years Classic, or the Christmas Triple Crown (that had parcheesy, smash brothers, and I think ping pong?) was two years ago. Jay won that.

Actually,Jay usually won most of them. He was really good at beating Kyle and I at games. But it was fun to play so it was worth it. Actually, that same Christmas I was playing Connect Four with Jay for like three hours, and whenever one of us was about to go somewhere wrong the other person would say, "if you go there you'll lose". and we'd rethink it and find a better move, until we figured out our strategies so well that after the first three checkers were put in we knew who was going to win. So, we eventually stopped that night cause it became three checkers long per game, instead of until someone has four in a row. Ya know like in tic tac toe, it gets to where you can tell who will win after only three moves have been made? It was like that. Games at the wentz home are intense.

We kinda overdo things sometimes. Like once when Kyle, Jay and I were all sick, we decided the least sick among us should go buy us ice cream and a movie. Kyle was dubbed least ill and returned with bananna coldstone ice cream, and "The Incredibles".



We watched it six or seven times in a row. By the third time Jay would stop and rewind it at parts he liked and would show us how good the animation was and why he liked it. That was the funnest sick day I ever had.

Oh another Wentz Christmas thing? National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. Most of the vocabulary that comes out of our mouths between Thanksgiving and January 1st is from that movie.

Oh and when Steve and I would put up the Christmas lights we made them into a smiley face on the roof.

Peeking at presents? Masters. We were absolute masters. We would know every single present under the tree guaranteed. I don't remember ever not knowing what I was getting for Christmas. Mom would try and double wrap them. Ha, good effort. But we couldn't be stopped. We'd take a little pin and carve on the line of the design on the wrapping paper, lift up the flap, see what it was, and then put invisible tape on the inside and push it closed so you could never tell where the incision was made. We should be surgeons I tell ya.

My mom's fudge is delicious. We would eat so much we'd feel kinda sick, so we'd go lay on the couches or play nintendo to wait until we felt well enough to eat more of it. That's how it goes with candy corn as well. We were sugar addicts growing up. I think some of it is still lingering as well, I totally have a sweet tooth.

Well, this is long, and there are so many more funny things I have been thinking about. These are some of my favorites though. Holidays are just fun with my family. We won't even go into halloween or fourth of july. :) I love them.
It's really nice to have steve and syl and their two kids out for Christmas this year! So there are plenty of memories to make. I can't wait till Kyle gets home though. I miss the old days sometimes. It's different now, but that doesn't mean it can't be as much fun. Two days till Christmas, and lots of memories to be made.

Merry Christmas! Don't forget what it's all about. Best Holiday Ever.

yikes.

Finals = done. finished. gonzo. end. boom!!!! I did it!! yee haw. That was a tough semester, but I did better than I have in any semester yet. Ah man it feels good to have it totally done. It took so much work though. Dang.

Last night? well, didn't even go to bed. yep. my first all nighter of my life. and the night before I got three hours. yikes.

How did I do it? Prolly cause my friend Jade stayed up with me cause she was workin on the same project. And it could have been the five bowls of apple jacks. I got them for two dollars at macey's. Best purchase I've ever made. My eyes still aren't focusing quite like they should. I need some sleep! But it's done. and that's what matters. and my grammer and punctuation is terrible. yikes. sorry sorta.

oh and I'm banning myself from facebook. no more facebook for a while.

oh and I'm choosing to have a good attitude about things. Like even things that are stinky. Remind me will ya? remind me that I'm gonna choose to be happy. :)

and I get to talk to kyle next week on the phone! woot woot!

and I start the El ed program in january! I'm SO excited for january! A fresh start. A new year, a new apartment, a new ward, new classes and a new program, new goals and fresh motivation, and a new chapter in my life. Every year on my birthday I make a list of goals. Goals for that year of my life. Like right now I just began my 21 year goals. and let me tell ya, 21 is gonna be a good year. I'm so excited to start the program and be so focused on elementary ed. it's gonna be fabulous for me to just jump right into it.

And we're moving back to the elms. That ward is so fabulous. It's so close to campus. So many of my friends are there. There are going to be some awkward cons to moving there-well mostly just one actually- I understand that, and that makes it seem kinda stupid to move back, but for some reason I feel like I need to be there. I feel sooo good about moving back. That is definitely what needs to happen for me, I guess I'll figure out why later. But even with some rather not so fun situations that might be there, it will be worth it for me I know it. I don't know why I just feel so good about it. yay for moving. That's gonna be fun.

Ok, this is random blubber. Mostly it's just fun for me to write out what I'm thinkin. Ha, who even reads this anyway? I think Sis Wilde, Emilie, and Syl. So hello to you. :) Ha I know berkeley doesn't cause it doesn't have any pictures. :) Sorry I write gibberish. but hey it's my blog, that's what it's for.

Merry Christmas everyone! Happy no more school for two weeks!!

This is style my friends.

I REALLY want to purchase this hat. Wow. Have you seen a better lookin hat? No, you have not because this tops them all. Hopefully soon you will see one on my head, I just need to find somewhere that has them first....

Advice to myself again. Pardon the deep and cheesy.

I know that finals are coming, and I have plenty to study. I know. I will get to it. But right now I can’t push aside some reflecting and thinking that is happening. Can I share a few thoughts? Of course I can. Well actually this is REALLY long, so it's a lot of thoughts, but it’s my blog. And I’m 21 now, so that means I can do what I want. :)

I have been thinking about goals. Improvement. Motivation. Bettering myself. Healing. Momentum. Change. Choice. Faith. His plan. Purpose. Destiny. The Atonement. Determination. A lot of self introspection happening as you can see.

I love those words. All of them. Something about goals and improvement just sparks something inside of me and I love it. What a great feeling it is to know that you can improve. You can change and progress. You literally can be whoever you want to be. And it’s all because of the Atonement. I am so thankful for the Atonement. Because we can repent, we can improve. Because of the Atonement and the fact that we have been redeemed from death there is a reason to want to be better because your soul is eternal. You will be you forever-a fact that comes with an underlying fire to want to become the best you you could possibly be. Because of the Atonement we have hope. We can overcome, heal, trust, and live because of that gift. I am so thankful for it. Holy cow I am thankful for it more than words can say. Maybe you know the feeling, so my words don’t have to say it. You can just feel it yourself drawing from your experience in life.

I want to be better. I want to be a better Kellie Wentz. A better student, sister, daughter, friend, and Latter Day Saint. What makes us better than looking at the experiences we have had and learning from them? Sometimes life is so hard. Wow. I wonder how we can feel the way that we do. It seems almost unbearable in those moments when you feel your heart literally aching for solace. Why do we have to feel that? My opinion? That’s life. Not in the cruel way like, “oh, suck it up, that’s life”. But as in, those little moments of heartache accompany those little moments of bliss, boredom, mediocrity, excellence, sadness, surety and laughter and make up life! Life IS little moments. You have to learn to love the cruddy along with the magnificent. I’m always looking and the future thinking , “when THAT happens, I’ll be living life!” No sir. I’m living it right now. Life is a like this big cookie that is made up of all those different ingredients into something delicious. Yes, salt by itself tastes super crappy, but its cause you aren’t supposed to eat it by itself. You add sugar and flour and chocolate chips to it and it’s fantastic. Those heart wrenching moments are like the salt in life. Yes, it’s terrible right in the moment by itself, but don’t let it be by itself for long. Notice the sugar and flour in other parts of your life in those times when salt is staring you in the face and you’ll be able to see the cookie. Does that make any sense? Life is delicious. I’m so serious. Life is incredible.

I like this quote by President Monson. “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”

You will ALWAYS have things you wish were better or more a part of your life. Why focus on what you don’t have? It makes you miserable. Like he says, you can experience heaven when you realize all you do have. Sometimes “life salt” blinds you from that for a little bit, so during those hard times you have to take the stinking biggest blind step of faith ever and trust that heaven is there, you’re just not lookin at it.

President Monson also said this, “If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.”

Mom’s hate that laundry and messes and all of that. But what He says is so true. You will miss it one day. Maybe that cruddy score on your bio test is like dirty fingerprints on the wall and you hate it now, but it’s life. Its one of those salt moments that’s going to flavor your life down the road. I swear I would be happier if I would just find a way to be grateful for it now. I swear that’s why old people are so happy sometimes-cause they have realized all of this stuff about loving life that’s gonna take me years to really appreciate.

I love elder Hollands talk “Remembering Lot’s wife”. Oh MAN, that is the talk for my life. I can’t even write any highlights from it cause the whole thing is a highlight. Please read it. I want to focus on moving forward, while using the experience I have acquired, without looking back and wanting to be there. The best is yet to be. I believe that. That’s what I’m talking about when I talk about living life in the moments that make it up. If you are doing everything you possibly can right in your life, Heavenly Father will take care of you. No matter what. That takes faith, but it is so worth it.

President Hinckley said, “Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

Alright, half hour later, here is my point. Yes. Sometimes life is hard. Very very very hard. But sometimes life is very very very good! When life is hard you remember that hard and difficult is necessary, and it is just one ingredient that adds to your delicious life. I am thankful for hard things. I really am. Heavenly Father knows how to make me grow. He knows how to make me happy. I gotta trust that, even when I am blinded by hard things, and remember that life is sweet. Every moment. I love every moment that I’ve been given here. Someday I will even love those moments that tasted bitter. I’m trying to make my life the best stinkin cookie you’ve heard of, and for it to taste just right, I’m gonna need that salt. :)

Ophelia Syndrome.

This is how I feel right now.


I'm tired of making choices. Like you know those times you have to make lots of choices, and they are all difficult, and you feel like no matter what choice you make something is going to stink. I hate those choices. Who wants to make them for me?
I could pay you as an employee. Think of it as a part time job. Applications open immediately. I need a"personal decision maker". STAT! Except you don't get holidays off. In fact you will probably have to work extra on holidays. I'll make it up to you by offering a cookie bonus. Like, I'll make you cookies. You don't want to miss this opportunity.

thank you.
sincerely, management.
just kidding.
sincerely, kellie.