and Boots is a lot like this...
Ah man I'm so sick of pet hair. Gross. You look at George and you're covered in like 1.7 seconds. It's like stinkin magic. No more pets for me. Yea, they're cute, and they give you that face that stops you from strangling them after they have barfed on something or meowed all night long. I'm being harsh. I know I love them. They're funny and cute, I know that. That's part of the problem-I always get attached. And then they run away or they die and I get so sad. Therefore, I decided I'm not going to let my kids have hairy monstrosities for pets, or any pets that we'll get attached to and bawl when they die. That narrows it down to....goldfish. I think I'll let my kids have a goldfish. They don't get their bodily fluids all over anything, and if they die you can flush them. And I wouldn't even be sad since I hate fish. It might lead to an early discussion about death when they wonder where the fishy went....but I am willing to take that risk. I've wiped too much cat hair off my bed and yelled for george to stop barking too many times. In fact as I'm typing this I'm sittin in the front room and the cat is staring at me while George is in the kitchen sleeping and snoring like a monster. Ah I'm such a scrooge. I'm a cranky old no-pet-patience scrooge. Maybe I'll change my mind tomorrow. For now? Bah Humbug.
p.s. now watch one of them will get hurt or something and I'll bawl my eyes out and feel so bad for being so brutal. It's just my luck, poor pets. Their cursed now because of my bad attitude. We'll save the apologies for tomorrow though, cause I'm just gonna be cranky pants about it tonight, and that is that.
I don't support this. I don't support this at all. For one thing, you're too scared of fish to ever let your kids have one, and for another thing, in your soul you love george and boots, and you really want your kids to experience the blessed, unconditional friendship that only pets can give. you know that's true. and if you don't have pets, I'll just bring mine over and they'll be the ones shedding on your house, so it might as well be the hair of a pet that belongs to you. Oh, and another thing, I bet you shed just as bad as Georgie. Case closed.
ReplyDeleteI think we brought some of their hair back to Colorado with us!
ReplyDeleteno emilie. I refuse. and syl, I totally believe it. I know I will find a ton when I move back to provo!
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